This Masochist I've Become Can't Turn Away
by Lunatic Silver
Summary: She wonders if this is her personal Hell - watching and unable to touch, or even feel anything more than vague phantoms of sensation. Written for tvd anon. Rated for sexuality.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Vampire Diaries_ nor its characters. They belong to L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, The CW Network, and whoever else.

**Note/Warning:** Written for tvd_anon's kink meme. The prompt was that ghost!Anna watches Jeremy jerk off. Feedback appreciated - first time writing this kind of smut. ^^;

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><p><strong>This Masochist I've Become Can't Turn Away<strong>

Anna knows she shouldn't be watching this. She should turn around, go into the bathroom, sit down and shut out the sounds. Not wonder what Jeremy's thinking of as he wraps his fingers around his dick. Not watch as he begins to stroke himself, slowly, effortlessly finding his familiar rhythm. Not reach out and want so badly to touch him herself.

But she can't help it. She can't look away as he manuevers out of his pants and boxers, t-shirt riding up to his chest. She can't keep herself from sitting on the edge of the bed, wanting to help him, touch him, taste him - be with him again.

Jeremy's eyes are closed, and his other hand keeps clenching and unclenching, grasping at his bed cover. His breathing is shallow, loud, steady but picking up speed a little. He's beautiful; he looks young right now, just a little buffer and tanner than when she first arrived in Mystic Falls almost a year ago.

Anna watches as he strokes, as sweat slowly forms on his skin. As his thumb brushes over his tip, smearing the small bead of pre-cum that's leaked out. She feels the phantom ache of lust and need coiling between her legs. She would touch herself, but she knows from past experience (and shame) that it won't do her any good. She's a ghost, she's dead - she can't eat, drink, sleep, and she can't actually feel anything. Not even sexual relief.

Jeremy's hand is moving slightly faster. He's biting his lip, grunting softly, and Anna lays on her side next to him, watching.

There was a time when this was foreplay for them.

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><p>"I want you to do something," Anna whispers, nestled comfortably in Jeremy's arms.<p>

"What?"

Anna sits up, licking her lips as blood starts to flood to her face and between her legs again as she thinks about what she's fixing to ask of him. "Well, I can tell by this," she delicately runs a finger over Jeremy's hardening cock, "That you are up for more. So, I want us to do something." She manuevers around so that she's stretched out opposite from him, her head near his feet.

Jeremy props himself up on his elbows, a curious look on his face. "Anna?" he asks, but he sounds eager, ready to play.

"Touch yourself," she tells him, moving her hand down her stomach and between her thighs. She slowly begins to stroke her clitoris, still wet from their earlier round. Anna grins at Jeremy, who's staring at her with huge eyes and a big, boyish grin - like he can't believe what he's seeing, but he loves it.

Then he quickly reaches down and begins to masturbate as well. He doesn't bother building up, just goes straight to for fast and frantic while he stares at her.

Anna soon follows, because she honestly doesn't think she can hold off her orgasm for very long when Jeremy is touching himself and groaning like that in front of her She moans, eyes briefly fluttering as she feels the pleasure building. Her fingers move faster, her other hand sliding down so that two fingers slip inside. Without really meaning to, Anna lets out a loud gasp.

Jeremy presses his face to the pillow and groans - very loudly - before looking at her again. "Anna, you're gonna kill me."

Despite herself, she laughs. "Hardly. I plan on keeping you around for a very long time," she promises. Her tongue snakes out, wetting her lips as she moans again at the sight of pre-come smeared over his dick and fingers, the sound of his blood pumping fast, the way his breathing becomes erratic and the desperation in his grunts. Her head lolls against his calf, stroking and finger fucking herself faster. She's so close, and he's about to, she can tell and then -

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><p>Jeremy cries out sharply, abruptly, hips arching off the bed and then jerking a few times while he keeps pumping his hand up and down. His fingers are glistening, milky white come trickling down, droplets splattered over his abdomen.<p>

Anna shudders and focuses on the memory of how amazing her orgasm had been that time. She forgets common courtesy and moves close, pretending she can Feel Jeremy as he pants for air, as his body finally settles back down. She pretends she feels damp from his sweat, that she can still feel the intensity of her own pleasure spreading through her body over and over until finally it fades, leaving her just as breathless.

He doesn't bother with the mess he's made, just slumps and closes his eyes. There's a dreamy smile on his face, and Anna doesn't know who put it there.

It breaks her heart (but then she remembers he looked the same way when she had to slip away before her mother came looking for her).


End file.
